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Prosophobia

by Calmosa

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1.
Shadowboxing 03:59
There was a time when I said leave me be, but you and I both know you did that plenty, and I scratched and clawed for attention. I'm aware its contradictory, things I say, things I mean. Point being, you couldn't be bothered for attention. I swear, I swear I'm doing fine. Healing wound after wound trying not to break stride. This bedrooms a tomb but I built it myself. I'm fine sitting here just waiting around. Another losing hand dealt to me, another crushing blow to self-esteem, another reason to leave. I swear, I swear I'm doing fine. Healing wound after wound trying not to break stride. This bedrooms a tomb but I built it myself. I'm fine sitting here just waiting around. Its about 30 days till we hit the road and two more weeks till I get home, and I've been waking up each morning just to see if its grown closer. There's been some demons here fighting me, and I fear I may have grown too weak, so I'm throwing in the towel on all but this one thing. I'm afraid to come out swinging cause I know that I'll tire myself out and collapse in the center of the ring while the rest of the gym just burns to the ground.
2.
It's here again, I stand face to face with this sinking ship that's meant to carry me to safety. It's meant to carry me away. The waves came crashing in long ago, and we got swept away. I'm waiting impatiently for things to take off on their own or for someone to take the reigns and steer me to safety but nobody comes. And I know all your dirty secrets. Wouldn't it be fun to destroy your life like you did mine? I was up late last night again waging wars in my head. Toda when I woke up, I saw traces of you in the distance. This isn't what I wanted. You've come and gone too many times for me to find peace. There's a guitar case full of someone else's memories sitting in my room. It makes me think of you. It makes me think of how two cohesive people can be pulled apart by a simple mistake. I was up late last night again waging wars in my head. Toda when I woke up, I saw traces of you in the distance. This isn't what I wanted. You've come and gone too many times for me to find peace. And I know all your dirty secrets. Wouldn't it be fun to use them against you? Destroy your life like you did mine.
3.
Virtues 03:40
I've been throwing my frustrations at a wall just to see which ones will stick, so far they all just seem to fall. And I'm trying to find words and write them down, something meaningful and cohesive for you to hear me yell. But its something that my mind just won't allow, I'm grasping at words with a breath I cant let out. Subject matters only half the battle when you're flipping through empty pages. And try as you might, you cant seem to grasp those words that mean everything to you. Soon My stagnancy turns to self-pity, another night spent writing shit that no one ever sees. Another night spent filling up these bags under my eyes. I hope that you don't notice them so I can keep what's left of my pride. Subject matters only half the battle when you're flipping through empty pages. And try as you might, you cant seem to grasp those words that mean everything to you. What is it that you do to feel contentment? 'Cause for the life of me I cannot seem to find it. I write and I sing. I play and scream until my fucking throat bleeds, but where does it get me? It doesn't seem to fix anything.
4.
Prosophobia 04:03
Considering last time you and I allowed our worlds to collide, and the damage that ensued, you would think I'd have a different point of view. I called you from outside a coffee shop in Visalia, it's been a year since we last spoke. Just ghosts wandering through dreams of a life that I no longer lead, an apartment that no longer belongs to me. You say we're even and I can't argue with that. I think you're healing and I've yet to start that process. You we're even but nobodies keeping score. If we were, for the record, I miss you more.

credits

released July 7, 2014

Written and performed by Calmosa
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Jonas Vece

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Calmosa Las Vegas, Nevada

We are a punk band from Las Vegas, NV. We started in August 2012.

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